Whining

Ugh, I need to vent. Mostly this has been a fantastic pregnancy and I've loved it, but there are some things I'm not loving right now. I'm feeling very pregnant. Some of you are laughing right now, remembering the last picture of my "cute little belly" and thinking that I'm not even 30 weeks along. I understand that, and I know lots of women have/had it way worse, but I'm not them, I'm me, and UGH!

My baaaaaaaaaack hurrrrrrrrrrrts! I tweaked something earlier today, I don't even know how, and it's not getting better. Right now it hurts to even put weight on my left foot because down low to the left of my spine, something is Not Good. I did nothing strenuous today. I went to knitting group, then I parked downtown and walked two blocks to a local cloth diaper/hippy baby store and registered for a few things and walked back to the car. After that, I was just sitting down in my comfy house. Somewhere, something went wrong, and now ouch.

Caius is way down low right now, yet somehow I also feel like he's clear up in my ribs making my throat uncomfortable. It's hard to describe. There's weight and pressure almost down in my pelvis (not scary early contraction pressure, just... weight), but I also feel like I can't get a good breath. Maybe I ate too much dinner so my stomach is full as well as my uterus? I don't know. And he's kicking a lot, which doesn't hurt, but it's THERE, and I kind of want him to go to sleep. However, I can't walk around to lull him off, because my freaking back hurts!

And now the dog needs to be on my lap because there was a SOUND outside and she's being a Chihuahua brain. Awesome.

I'm too hot. I've been too hot all day. For days and days and weeks. My mom stayed the night last night and she woke up freezing, but I thought the temperature (at 8 in the morning inside after having the swamp cooler on all night) was tolerably cool. She sat under two blankets with hot tea while I had yoga pants and a t-shirt on and had clammy hands. My face turns red if I'm outside for very long, and I HATE getting into the car before the air conditioner cools it down (which is generally about 30 seconds before I get wherever I'm going). Sometimes I get heat rash on my chest and back if I'm too hot and sweaty for too long. Unless I just don't go anywhere, though, it's kind of hard to avoid being hot here in the desert at the end of July.

There are also some bathroom issues and lady-parts business going on that I won't detail here.

I thank God for this baby multiple times every single day, and I'm so very excited to give birth and to meet him, but... right now, I just want to feel better.

UPDATE: I just went upstairs, lay in bed, and cried for ten minutes for no actual reason other than I felt like crying. Holy crap, hormones. Matt came in and cuddled me after a bit and was very sweet. He said I could maybe float in the tub to try and help my back. I might later, but I don't feel like having a bath right now. He also suggested that rocking in the chair in the nursery might rock Caius to sleep, since I can't walk around to help him drift off, so I'm trying that now. I'm going to get baby shower info to the appropriate people, and then maybe work on my birth plan. I'd like to have it at least sketched out for my next midwife appointment so I can ask any questions and maybe review it with her a little.

Caius, mama loves you so much! She's sorry she's being grumpy tonight.